Living the BeautyFit lifestyle... -100lbs. and counting!: Getting back to ME...

Hey Everyone!

I know, it's been a while!

No excuse as to why I haven't posted a new blog or update, I've actually been writing quite a bit.
The problem isn't in not writing as I have ample amounts of inspiration, topics and feelings to feed from. Honestly, I think it's the immense amount of stuff I have to pull from that is causing me to lag in my posts!
Sounds weird I know!
I have so many blogs started that I haven't finished yet! lol Time to buckle down and wrap loose ends... or loose thoughts anyway! :P

So what's on my mind today? Well, Me actually!

Going through the healing process, lengthy as it is, has forced me to have more patience with myself both mentally and physically.
While the physical changes from surgery were pretty immediate (one day the skin was there, the next day it was gone) my mental and emotional state is still playing catch up.

Don't worry... I'm not "going off the deep end" at least not yet lol OR anymore than usual anyway! hahaha

I'm not going to blow smoke up your a$$ and say that after all the surgery I feel 100% better and confidant. Truth is, I feel physically better and satisfied in the fact that I can now see the results of 2years of hard work. Before this I couldn't look past the mess of skin to see what I HAD accomplished.

The flip side is that there is a whole new path of self discovery ahead. This isn't a bad thing! lol
Scary maybe, but not "bad".

Once you start stripping away the excuses of why you can't *fill in the blank* it becomes harder to hide from the real reason! Ooooohhhhh I'm getting all introspective and deep! hahahaa
Bear with me on this one though!
I used to tell myself "You're not as successful as you want to be because you're obese" then I lost weight.
Then it was "You're still hiding who you are because you're self conscious of the excess skin". Well that's no longer an excuse... soooooo.... what now?! lol Self discovery time!!!! hahaha
I'm running out of places to hide! YIKES!!!! lol

That was a lot of babbling to let you know that all your patience with my sporadic blogs, rants etc. is appreciated and hopefully insightful and helpful?!

I have found though that getting back to "me" is easier when I turn to the outlets that helped me get to this place... NOT FOOD!!! lol

I have been cleared to resume all physical activity again (being mindful and careful of course).
So with that in mind, I headed straight for bootcamp and Coach Compton! lol (surprise, surprise!) ;)

This is another place where patience with myself is greatly needed!

I have now done three nights at camp and at some point I have cried. Not an all out sobbing bawl fest but more of an internal struggle between the abilities I had and the abilities I'm working with now.

Patience... I'm fully aware that I will get back to that place and surpass where I once was.
This does not make it easier mind you.