This is a Tough One...

Hi Everyone,

If you are a regular follower of my blog a) thank you, and b) you'll notice I have been M.I.A.

As the title of my blog suggests, this is a tough one to write.
The reason for my absence is unfortunately a sad one.

On Sunday May 27th my Father passed away suddenly from a massive heart attack at the age of 59.

*WHEW* this is as difficult to type as it is to say out loud.

Ok... deep breath!

My Dad... Walter John Harvey

I'm not writing this to re live the events of his passing... God knows those memories from the hospital will be forever engrained in my head.
I'm writing this for many reasons... therapy, tribute and to thank all those that have been so supportive (including my BeautyFit family).

For those who have experienced a loss, I know you "get it"... to be honest, I'm just wrapping my brain around everything. I've not had anyone really close to me pass away, both of my Dads parents are still living. Telling my Poppy (Grandpa) that his son had passed was heart wrenching to say the least.

I had no idea of the overwhelming amount of support that was to come...
Sitting at the hospital sending texts to a few close friends asking for a prayer for my Dad while we waited for information...
Texts filled with encouraging words, phone calls to come out front for a quick hug outside the hospital, and then when Dad passed... Sandra (Sam)"Coach" finding me and my family at the hospital to help any way she could... she knew I needed her.
Once word spread, messages started to flood in from all directions as they usually do. People in disbelief, offering kind words and prayers... all of these things so greatly appreciated.

Dad teaching Sidney how to play the guitar he and Mom bought her 

(*Side note...Those who know me will not be surprised that in times of heartache or difficulty I turn to humour. It's my way of coping... just FYI lol).

Like all Dads, mine was big on teaching me about the regular stuff like honesty, work ethic, etc. etc.... but then there was the stuff he loved... the GOOD stuff ; ) lol For instance...

* hockey (he was a Leafs fan lol) Wendel Clark could walk on water and every year the Leafs were winning the cup! lol
I think I broke his heart a little when I decided in grade 6 to become a RedWings fan... since I'm a total Daddy's girl... he still bought me a wings jersey that Christmas!

* Janis Joplin... enough said :P

* boxing and Rocky movies! Apparently in his feisty years Dad dabbled in boxing. He had 4 fights that all resulted in knock outs... he was on the receiving end of all of them. lol

Still... Dad and I would sit on the couch together and watch Rocky movies whenever possible, his fave being Rocky 4 with "Ivan Drago" :P Immediately after, Dad would give me a lesson in self defence which included how to properly punch someone in the throat in a life or death situation!!! hahaha

I think it amused him to no end when I started Boot Camp and he saw me with my hand wraps on! He'd start jabbing at me seeing if I could actually block a punch... he was impressed that Coach taught me well!

My Dad never got to meet Sam though they were friends on Facebook lol In fact, my Dad waited til Sam added him so that he didn't look like a "dirty old man" adding such a "hottie" to his friends list! lol

Dad cringed every time Sam would comment on something (on Facebook) and call him Mr.Harvey... so she did it more! And when Sam cam into the room to pay respects to my Dad after he passed, she introduced herself and said "nice to finally meet you Mr.Harvey". True to form, she had my back.


The day after Dad passed I got a bbm form Sam... "Grab your training gear and come over when you can xoxo"
That night, with "Coach" and Momma bootcamp (Sams Mom),  I ran my first 5k outside.
I broke down in the first K... my head filling with memories and eyes filling with tears.
Bent over trying to breathe I felt headphones go around my neck and Sam pulling me upright... "You've got this, leave it all on the pavement" and she (and Dad I'm sure) pushed me forward.
In the last K I ran through the sprinklers in front of McDonalds and was a dripping mess by the end... but my head was clear for at least a little while.

We all have our outlets in times of stress.... 2 years ago I would have eaten my way through this entire ordeal, no doubt in my mind.
Instead, I have a constant reminder of where I am NOW... seeing my boot camp and gym friends among the crowd at Dads visitation and funeral just solidified how much of a family we have really become and how far I've come.

Dads passing is still a very fresh wound... I don't think its really hit me that he's physically gone, I know when it does sink in it's not going to be easy.
I take comfort in the fact that I'm not alone in this and that if I need to at anytime I have training and cardio buddies that I can call on a whim. And for the days when I really miss him, I know I've always got Dad pushing me on the pavement.

So, in honour of my Dad.... here's a little Janis for you all!

Til next time...

Daddy's girl Hugs... Crystal :) xo Love you Dad!